Pickin' and Frownin'

I used the extra hour this morning to tune my guitar and to reconnect with it. She now has a new set of strings and they have a process of stretching in the dawn of their life that makes frequent tuning a necessity. While making a little noise with six strings this morning, my mind took me back to a front porch in Kentucky with friends, family, a couple of guitars and a few cases of Old Milwaukee's Best Light (a.k.a. Bullwinkles).

A perfect day at Cousin Bobby's house would begin with pitching horseshoes and drinking beer under a bright, sunny sky with just the slightest breeze to keep us from getting too hot. As dusk descended onto that lonely Kentucky road, out would come the guitars. Any given night the sounds of country, gospel, southern rock and bluegrass would drift down into the hollars, keeping cadence with crickets and bullfrogs.

As much fun as it was, we always knew that things would draw to a close each evening. So there were always promises of repeating the events on the following day. These promises were some of the best kept I have ever known. But alcohol is a depressant, and the evening would always end on a sad night. This was not entirely the fault of the beer, though. You see, the music always ended with a contest to see who could play and sing the saddest country song. (Now you're laughing!) Yes, there are many contenders. But there were always standouts, both old and new:

-He Stopped Loving Her Today (George Jones)
-Farewell Party (Gene Watson)
-The Dance (Garth Brooks)
-Lady Down On Love (Alabama)
-Don't Close Your Eyes (Keith Whitley)
-I Will Always Love You (Dolly Parton)
-Someone Else's Star (Bryan White)
-Sing Me Back Home (Merle Haggard)

Judging the contest was by majority vote. The problem was that enough beer clouded judgment. So any given participant might forget a song completely that he had been telling himself all week woud be a sure winner. Other times, a song could win two nights in a row--because no one remembered that it was a winner the night before.

I am telling you all of this to tell you that there is a new song on the block. It would be a hands-down winner if this contest were still happening today. That song is "Flowers," by Chris Young. He is the very talented (and very attractive, according to the Good Nurse) winner of last season's "Nashville Star" on the USA TV.

I am already a big fan of Chris Young and I predict that he will be standing tall next to Toby Keith and Kenny Chesney in record time (or maybe even pushing them aside!). He is the genuine article, my friends. You can buy his CD digitally or in stores. Overall, I give his first major-label album an A+. There are only a couple of songs that are patronizingly formulaic, but you can always skip over those.

As a boy from the hills of Kentucky, I know of what I speak when it comes to hill-music. You won't go wrong with this bright, new singer.

Storm Watch 1,000,000

I can remember a time when the weatherman (yes, it was only men when I grew up) would use magic markers on a big map of the greater Middle Tennessee area (which included my Southern Kentucky home) to let people know what was happening with the weather, and, perhaps even more importantly, what was going to happen with the weather. One weatherman in particular had a reputation for calling Memphis to see what the weather was doing there. He would then make that his forecast for the next day. His accuracy was the highest, but that's a different story.

Since television stations began using genuine RADAR to show precipitation in their viewing areas, the promotional names have kept up with advancing technology. First there were stations using taglines like, "Stormwatch 5." Then, "StormTracker 1,000." Then, "RadarWatch 10,000." This progression made me wonder just how far a station would go to impress upon viewers the superiority of its particular RADAR.

Well, dear readers, a station in Atlanta, Georgia, has now crossed a key threshold in the quest to be the most advanced. Weather+Plus 1,000,000 is now the benchmark. Yes, Weather+Plus One Million. (The website doesn't do justice to how the forecasters portray it while on screen.) It beats any claim of a New York City station. I've always heard that the south would rise again. I didn't suspect that it would be by having the most powerful RADAR known to man. Maybe this is a good thing. But, maybe we should just call Pittsburgh, see what's happening there, and make that our forecast for the next day or two.

Midnight Plane to Georgia

Well, it won't really be midnight but it might as well be. I will be boarding an airplane Thursday morning at 6am on a flight headed for Atlanta so that I might spend a day and a half at the head office.

For as long as I can remember, I have been unable to sleep the night before an early morning flight. This time is no different. I packed my suitcase as soon as I got home from the office today. I tucked myself in bed and began reading a book, trying to get to sleep early before waking up at 3am so that I can catch a cab at 3:30am and be at the airport by 4am. After all, the airline says to arrive at least two hours before departure.

But, alas, I couldn't drift off to dreamland. So many thoughts are going 1,000 directions in my mind. Many are good thoughts, some are bad thoughts, and a couple are just nutty. That's okay, though, because I am a nutty person.

I guess as I continue reading Lovesick Blues: The Life of Hank Williams, tonight, I'll smile when I think of one good thing about going South: good-tasting, heart-clogging meals at places like Waffle House and Sonic Drive-In. New York City doesn't have everything, after all.

Someone asked me tonight. . .

Over a bottle of beer, someone asked me tonight: what would be the best things about a person with whom you would want to have a relationship (lover/friend/other)?

I gave it some thought. Not a lot of thought, because of how recently I was asked the question. I don't fully have all the answers, but I did realize some of the components I find important. Here they are in brief.

1. Be comfortable with yourself. If you don't like being around yourself, why will I?
2. Don't take yourself too seriously. Enjoy laughing at yourself!
3. Communicate early and often. With me and with others.
4. Call me for no reason. Or any reason.
5. Understand unconditional love. I have it and I will share it with someone who will share it back.
6. Make fun of me, because I am going to make fun of you. Why? Because I value you enough to give you attention.
7. When I am feeling sad, know that you can't fix it. But you can help by lending me your shoulder or your time. Even when I try to decline them.
8. Tell me what you need and want from me. I promise to give it to you or die trying.
9. Make me feel wanted. Use love and desire, not anger and jealousy.
10. Please try to forgive me, because I will make mistakes. I will make more mistakes than you will make.
11. Together, let's make sure each of these work both ways.

(After reading what I have just written, I notice that I didn't once mention Matt Damon. How did that happen?!?!)

But seriously, I believe what makes a healthy relationship--be it your life's partner or your closest friend(s), falls far outside the realm of how we look, what we wear, or how much money we have. I have friends who are gorgeous and hideous ("eye of the beholder" stipulated). Fashion forward and fashion illiterate. Billionaires and completely broke. In my heart, I love them all. What makes me truly blessed is that I believe my loved ones share many of my values, whether they have articulated them or not. Ain't life grand?

My heart was torn into many pieces tonight when I learned some terrible news about someone I love dearly. I learned later that I was the victim of a joke gone awry. The terrible news was not true. The person who pulled the prank is someone I know and like, and I know he would not have teased me the way he did had he known that my reaction would have been to sob like a baby in an East Midtown watering hole. The value of this joke gone awry, though, is that things came into focus more clearly. Even the jokester, whose attempt at humor failed miserably, has a more important place in my heart. After seeing him genuinely distressed at seeing my pain, he showed his true colors by doing everything he could to comfort me as I recovered.

This entire post has been one of introspection and reflection (is that redundant?). My fear is that I might seem selfish to anyone who might read this. My hope is that through my experiences others might grow as I feel I have grown.

Single, Solitary Solution

The good nurse is off for a 10-day holiday. The consolation prize for me was the gift he gave me last weekend: a trip to Kentucky to see my family. Yes, The Sun Shines Bright on My Olde Kentucky Home.

This weekend was one of solitude. I contemplated various diversions to keep me from dwelling on the fact that I would be completely alone this weekend. The winning ideas included deep cleaning of the apartment and avid reading of good books. But even these simple diversions, and a phone call with my mother, couldn't keep me from crashing into the stark reality that no matter how well I know anyone, or how much I love anyone, here in NYC, I haven't known a single, solitary soul for more than 4 years. September marked my 4th year in NYC and my nearest blood-kin is at least an 18-hour drive away.

The phone call with my mother detailed the tribulations of another family member who had a "heart episode." For some reason, "heart episodes" have become a frequent occurrence among my family lately. After concern and prayers for my loved one, my selfish mind brought me back to my own loneliness and solitude here in this city of millions. I realize that it is of my own making. I could pick up the phone and call a friend and find something to do. In fact, I did call a relatively new friend who is also a very close neighbor, and that friend was unavailable. I did get one call, exactly one call, from someone else who invited me to a late Sunday brunch. However, that person has more in mind than eggs and toast. I declined.

Sometimes, I believe we just want to be in a pissy mood, and maybe that's the frame of mind I have right now. For most of us, though, the desire to be happy will overcome that desire to be pissy. I eagerly anticipate that for me. Right now, it's back to a good book. I don't mind being alone but I hate feeling lonely. Like a true Gemini, I am just fine with solitude, but only on my terms. :)

Finally, lest you think I am feeling sorry for myself, I assure you I am not. I don't need my pity. I know my blessings and I am thankful for them. I will be sleeping safely with a roof over my head, food in my belly, and a few dollars in the bank. According to a recent email forward, that's better than 90% of this earth's population. As Granny has always said...this, too, shall pass.