It's Only March? or It's Already March?

Already, this year seems to be moving so quickly that I feel like I'm riding a horse whose reins just won't slow it down.

The Good Nurse and I have moved to a new apartment. Finally.

My hometown was declared a disaster area earlier this year from tornados that left 4 people dead. Even FEMA is on the scene with their asbestos-laden trailers. Then yesterday, they were expecting 6 inches of snow. So far, my hometown way down in the South has had more snow than New York City, way up here in the yankee-land!

I have bought my airplane ticket to go home for Easter. I can't remember the last time I have been in Kentucky for this most sacred of Christian days. I am thankful. I have told my mother that I will go to sunrise service with her on Easter morning.

Basketball season has begun again. So far, my team is 1 and 1. And we will continue to improve because we have amazing cohesion. It is my favorite team yet since I have been playing with this league.

For one night, Saturday, March 8, I became a bartender. I have a new respect for those who are behind bars many days of the week. (When I say "behind bars," I mean people who are bartenders, not people who are in jail.)

To help me try (again) to quit smoking, I have reduced my own drinking to as close to teetotaling as I have been since my teen years. I have cheated on the drinking and that led to smoking. The good news is that as long as I don't drink, I don't feel tempted to smoke. Hmmm. Food for thought.

I am working on myself in other ways. I need to be a better communicator. This is a good opportunity for me to recommend The Four Agreements. It's a fantastic read. One of the "agreements" is to "speak impeccably." Say what you mean and mean what you say. For too long, I have tried too hard to be diplomatic when talking to others when they really needed to hear the cold hard facts. I have also been guilty of using vague expressions in a passive-aggressive manner. The people to whom I speak deserve better. If I am going to invest time in someone, shouldn't I invest the best I can offer? Otherwise, I shouldn't invest the time at all.

Sometimes I withdraw from people or situations when things are out of my comfort level. I owe myself better treatment than that because only when I am uncomfortable can I figure out how to find comfort.

I have found myself ruminating on some days about the fact that I have let myself drift away from some of my best friends here in New York. And it is my fault. Then I think about the new friends I make in new places, like basketball. I am grateful for them, but nothing--nothing--can, should or will replace the friendships that I entered with the full expectation that they would last forever. I have some rebuilding to do. If I get the opportunity. I think the first thing I will say as I start this journey, is "I am glad you are my friend and I love you." And I will continue to say it (and show it) as days and weeks and months and years pass. I am also going to expect my friends to be just as good to me. To do otherwise would be setting myself up for failure. So you people who have been close to me, and you know who you are, get ready to answer to me! And make me answer to you! (It's a small number of people--but it has high value.)

Religion is a taboo topic among so many people, especially here in New York City where I suspect 99% of the world's religions are represented. However, my religion, hillbilly Baptist, teaches me to repent of my sins. That means confess them and turn away from them. I am doing my best. And my belief in my Savior is stronger than it has ever been.

So much has happened already this year. This post seems so self-absorbed. But maybe I need some of that. Maybe I need to worry about myself more and make sure I am treating me as good as possible. That will make me love myself more, which will help my loved ones to love me more, which will make me a better loved one to them. Is that how it is supposed to work?

Faith, Hope and Love. And the greatest is Love.