No Good Excuse for Getting Out of Jury Duty

I'm due to report for jury duty next week. I have heard the joke many times that nobody wants to put their fate in the hands of 12 people who are not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Back home in Kentucky, I was once called for jury duty. When I reported, I was put into a jury pool for what most people around there called "petty" jury. It was actually "petit" jury. Regrettably, what I am about to say just reinforces some stereotypes of the South in general:

LAWYER: Do you know Mr. X?
ME: Yes, he's my third cousin.
LAWYER: (sigh) Do you know Mr. Y?
ME: Yes, he's my uncle
JUDGE: Excused!

The problem is that here in New York, I have no family. I don't have another good excuse, either. And I have great confidence that none of my friends or acquaintances will be appearing in any trials. So it looks like I'll be downtown next week, ready to do my civic duty. I hope that it is a good week for plea bargains or pretrial settlements. If not, I want to be on a jury in a case where Chris Meloni from "Law and Order" has to testify. He's not really my type but he is the best looking character from that series or any of its offshoots.

The good news is that I won't have to worry about serving for another few years. Right?