They said this would happen...
Suddenly, just after turning 35, it seems that all of my pants fit tighter--or don't fit at all. I haven't really gained that much weight, between 5 and 10 pounds. But for some reason, all of that weight has gone DIRECTLY to the general area where I normally button my pants. This is what so many people told me would happen, from my brother to an old boss, as they slyly chuckled. Maybe the return to work will speed up my metabolism and shake off those annoying little pounds right away.
But what if that doesn't happen? I realize that I may have to bite the bullet, actually visit a store of some sort that sells pants, and buy some more. But do I keep the old pants in anticipation of weight loss? Or, do I just suck in my gut until I find the best exercise regimen to get rid of the weight. I've also heard that quitting smoking causes one to add weight. Which has the greater risk? Smoking or having an unhealthy weight? Should I start smoking again?
The Good Nurse and I live in a small apartment with a small closet. Between the two of us, there ain't much room left. And we really don't have a lot of clothes to start with. We've already bought those plastic bags from late-night TV where you put in clothes, hook the vacuum to a plug in the bag, and suck all of the air out. It leaves a nice, tidy package that fits neatly under the bed. And yet the closet remains full. Now I'm afraid to get my work shirts laundered because I would have to hang them in the living room. And while I grew up a poor hillbilly in Kentucky, that would hit a little TOO close to a time and place long ago--when my grandmother would take in cleaning to make a couple extra dollars, and we would keep the clothes!
But what if that doesn't happen? I realize that I may have to bite the bullet, actually visit a store of some sort that sells pants, and buy some more. But do I keep the old pants in anticipation of weight loss? Or, do I just suck in my gut until I find the best exercise regimen to get rid of the weight. I've also heard that quitting smoking causes one to add weight. Which has the greater risk? Smoking or having an unhealthy weight? Should I start smoking again?
The Good Nurse and I live in a small apartment with a small closet. Between the two of us, there ain't much room left. And we really don't have a lot of clothes to start with. We've already bought those plastic bags from late-night TV where you put in clothes, hook the vacuum to a plug in the bag, and suck all of the air out. It leaves a nice, tidy package that fits neatly under the bed. And yet the closet remains full. Now I'm afraid to get my work shirts laundered because I would have to hang them in the living room. And while I grew up a poor hillbilly in Kentucky, that would hit a little TOO close to a time and place long ago--when my grandmother would take in cleaning to make a couple extra dollars, and we would keep the clothes!
posted by Michael Vernon at Tuesday, June 20, 2006
1 Comments:
Hum, how about go find a smoke salmon store and ask them to smoke you while hooked on a breathing tube. This way you can "SMOKE" and get the weight-control benefit without choking your lungs. Alternatively, you can soak your pants in oil (McDonald's used cooking oil for best effect) and make it FATTER (hey it will be lubricated too!). Let me know if it works!
Jimmy
PS: Ask the Good Nurse to send a photo of the other T-shirt, I can decipher the Japanese for you.
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