Barbershop Ramblings. . .

"You have a beautiful face. I think we will do very well with this. Oh yes, we will make you even more handsome than you already are."

So started the gentleman as he prepared to give me a weeks-overdue haircut. After a long and stressful day, this flattery energized me in a way I didn't realize I needed.

"You look like a movie star. Are you an actor?"
"Have you ever been to Moscow?"
"Do you plan to go?"
"If you do go to Moscow, go to the Diplomat Hotel in Red Square. Tell them I sent you. They will treat you like a king."

"Your haircut is coming along so nicely."

"I am 67 years old. I have been married for 42 years. I have five children."
"How old are you?"
"Ohhhhh. . .you are so young."

"Do you have any children?"
"Are you married?"

"You need a nice Russian girl. I can introduce you to the most beautiful blue-eyed Russian girl you will ever meet. And so sweet are the Russian girls."

"Come back in two weeks. You have waited too long between haircuts."

There were a couple of final formalities to end this haircutting experience. First, the barber applied a little Witch Hazel to the back of my neck where he had shaved it smooth. The second was putting shaving cream into my hair.

"For a wonderful smell. The ladies will love it."

I didn't have the heart to tell him that as soon as I get home from a haircut, the first thing I do is take a shower. If I don't, little pieces of hair make their way under my collar and itch me so much that scratching is a waste of time. But I did pick up a wonderful new trick. Use scented shaving cream to make your hair smell nice and clean. After all, maybe the ladies will love it.