Momma Gets Her First Text Message

Early this morning, Momma got her first text message. She told me about it in a phone call a short while ago. At first, she heard a "beep." She ignored it. Then, another "beep." Since her puppy dog, Jose Cuervo, hates "beeping" noises, he promptly hid under the bed. Momma figured it must be the "battery low" alert in one of the smoke detectors. So she went to the one nearest her bed and took out the battery in the smoke detector. Back under the covers once again, she soon hears another "beep."

This time, she goes to the 2nd nearest smoke alarm and removes the battery. Then, another "beep." This takes her to the third-and final-smoke alarm in her house. From which she promptly removes the battery.

Finally, in bed once again, and tucked in for a couple more hours of sleep, another "beep." Then, and only then, does she notice the light flashing on her cell phone. My brother had texted her. The text informed her that he has now successfully lost 15 pounds on the no-carb diet.

Now she feels compelled to reply. But she doesn't know how. Her success in reply resulted in nothing more than this: GI.

She has promised to get in touch with her grandson, Jake, to learn this newfangled texting technology. But first, she has the chore of putting batteries back in all the smoke detectors and getting them back on the wall. Why did brother text instead of call? Well, he was working a 7pm to 7am shift over at the adult-diaper factory and didn't want to wake her. He won't make that mistake again, I'm really quite sure.