Handsome, Intelligent, Funny, Good-looking...and straight. Hmph.

Here is a picture of Dr. Howard. The last time I went frog-gigging with him, he was in grade school. Wouldn't you agree that he has grown up just delightfully?

I am "out" among my friends back home, even the country boys like Dr. Howard. His greeting to me on Saturday included this line:

"Hey, Vernon, I met someone in grad school that makes you look like John Wayne."

After some pondering, I figured out that he was complimenting me on my masculinity or commenting on the femininity of a gay, male classmate. I got a chuckle out of it. I have come to the conclusion that I enjoy some good-natured teasing from my friends. I know there is no malice with their comments on homosexuality that are designed for nothing more than to pick on me. In the country, people wouldn't pick on you if they didn't like you. It makes me proud as a peacock that these same fellas are now embracing of people, regardless of sexual orientation. Sexuality is not something that causes them great constertation--or any consternation for that matter. I hope I had something to do with that. I sure worked at it.

But even the straight boys can't help it if they are gorgeous. So, I eagerly share this photo of Dr. Howard. *sigh*

Pickin' up frog-frogs, puttin' 'em a basket...

Three different crews set out simultaneously on Saturday night to gig frogs. When they met up later, the total number of frogs captured approached 80. *That* is successful, especially for this time of year. Turns out that through some exceptions in the Kentucky Revised Statutes, I didn't need a fishing license after all. Saaaa-weeet!

I have taken even more photos subsequent to the frog gigging trip. Since I know you are on the edge of your chair waiting to see them, you will be happy to know that I am returning to New York tomorrow (Wednesday) and I will have them ready to share with you by the weekend. Especially the latest photo of Dr. Howard. The last time he was on a frog-hunting expedition with me, he was a mere child. Now he is a strapping young man of 25 who just completed a doctorate in pharmacology. Or something. He cleans up mighty well. And he tells a funny story. I will share that with you when his picture goes up.

And finally, not realizing that I live in New York...only realizing that I am an uncle who shows up from time to time, Nephew Jack yesterday was shocked to learn that I am a damn yankee. His question: you mean you came all the way from New York to see us here in the USA?

Horsin' Around

Whew. Day three of this visit to Kentucky is coming to an end, and it's only 8:30pm here! I woke up around 5am this morning to head over to Pork Chop's house. He was putting a new roof on his house and he had hired some Mennonites for labor. Those boys sure work hard! We left there later on in the morning and had breakfast at Martha Jo's (a restaurant, not somebody's house). While we were at his house, I complained to his wife, a dentist, that I had a toothache. She told me to come by her office and I did...she took a tooth grinder of some sort and put it to my #30 tooth. It did the trick because my toothache seems to be gone. And she didn't charge me a dime! Thanks, Paige!

Pork Chop picked me up this evening around 5pm. He was going to Warren County to pick up a mare that he had taken to a stud farm. I went to help him round up his mare. I guess we will know in a month or two if there was a "love connection." Seems Pork Chop is jumping into the thoroughbred racehorse business. I took lots of pictures of some amazing and beautiful horses. Heck, some of the colts I saw could be in the big race next year. We will see.

Tomorrow promises to be a big day. My brother and his family are coming over to Momma's for an afternoon cookout. After that, I am meeting up with the gang about 7pm to get organized for a Saturday night frog gigging trip. That means I have to get a fishing license at some point tomorrow. Getting back to my roots is has reawakened an energy in me that has been too long dormant. I can't wait to show you pictures when I get back to East Harlem. Right now, I need to go clean my shoes. When you run with the horses...

Scottsville, KY: Today's Highlight

Day 2 at home in Scottsville, Kentucky. I would not normally take time to write a post, but a late afternoon shower has left me with a tiny bit of cabin fever. While my mother's house is not in range of cable TV service, she does have hi-speed internets through the telephone line. What a country! I have been wearing out the camera, but you won't see pictures until I am back in NYC. You see, my mother doesn't have a cable of any sort for transfering pictures to the computer. With gasoline at $3.85 per gallon, it's not worth driving all the way to Bowling Green to get a cable.

Today's highlight came earlier this afternoon when I went to pick up my nephews from school. The "primary" school, where Jack attends, and the "intermediate" school that Jake attends are all on the same campus as the middle school and high school. When I was in school, they were known as the elementary school and were in one building. Ahhh...the charms of small town life. All schools are next to each other.

Anyway, I picked up the fellas and we began driving back to their "granna's" house. Jack was very excited to tell me that he was going to a "Chinese" dairy farm on a field trip tomorrow. I didn't even know we had one of these in Allen County! My curiosity was aroused enough to tell the Good Nurse about this turn of events. Jake later figured out that Jack was confused, and his field trip tomorrow is for "Chaney's" dairy farm. That makes lots more sense. The Good Nurse agreed, saying that he couldn't imagine why a Chinaman (his word) would have a dairy farm, since most Chinese are lactose intolerant.

:-o

Memorial Day/Independence Day

I often find myself attaching sentimental value to specific dates in my past. Even when those dates are not that significant. Memorial Day Weekend, 1995, is an exception, in that it is very significant. That is the weekend that my mother left the home she shared with my father. When I got the message, I was sitting on the back terrace at the apartment of my friends Keg and Sparky. Hacksaw was also there. My roommate Smitty came to their apartment and told me that I should go back to our apartment and listen to the answering machine. I asked why. He told me that my mother left a message saying that she had left my father and that I wouldn’t be able to reach her for a few days. She promised to call as soon as she was able.

The person I knew as my father is guilty of rape, physical abuse and emotional abuse. And that pattern continues with his new wife and new step-children, at least according to the police reports I have read in the hometown newspaper. A normal person would be full of hate for him, I suppose. But perhaps of what I saw and what I experienced, I became a more compassionate person. At least I tell myself that. My constitution is one where sometimes I have allowed people to mistreat me. I am also more forgiving than the average person, I believe. I have tried to hold a grudge before, and I simply cannot maintain it. I don’t dislike this about me. I embrace it.

* * *

I was due to be in Kentucky last weekend. Because of having the worst stomach bug I can ever remember experiencing, I postponed (and extended) my visit. So, from Wednesday, May 21st until Wednesday, May 28, I will be home to visit with my family. It will be the first time I have been physically at home since before 1995. Emotionally, it’s going to be a difficult weekend. I will keep reminding my mother, and myself, how better off we are with this person no longer in our lives. I don’t wish him ill. Quite the contrary: I wish he would find help for the demons that bind him. Those who remain a part of his life, including my brother and his children, and his current wife, deserve better. I don’t even know his current wife, but nothing she could possibly have done warrants the kind of punishment that my mother’s ex-husband is superbly qualified to dispense. Of course, neither did my mother, my brother or me.

Old Country Came to Town

On Thursday, I had the opportunity to play host to a couple of visitors from my hometown. I picked them up at the airport and dropped them at Yankee Stadium for an afternoon game. Then, I met them in East Midtown for an early supper and some site-seeing following that. My visitors are a father/son duo. The dad was the ag teacher (and FFA Sponsor) at my high school, and his son is a former schoolmate of mine who is one year younger than I. A good time was had by all.

Their visit inspired me to get an airplane ticket and go home to Kentucky this weekend because my mother was planning a big cook-out for Saturday afternoon. Alas, when I got my email with the flight itinerary on Thursday afternoon, I had plugged in the wrong weekend. I am actually going to miss the big cook-out because I didn't make it this weekend. I'm going next weekend. Silly me!

The silver lining, however, will be my chance to travel through Nashville, TN's, delightful airport. I say delightful because they recently installed an outpost of Tootsie's Orchid Lounge. In spite of the fact that the name conjures up images of a Thai whorehouse, it actually is a famous institution in Nashville: a honky-tonk. When the Grand Ole Opry began in downtown Nashville, Tootsie's back door aligned perfectly with the stage door of the Opry. Thus, country music stars who drank would often sneak out of one spot and sneak into the other. These days, Tootsie's is famous for just being famous. Up-and-coming singers and songwriters grace the "stage" which is actually no bigger than many bathroom stalls. (I have played on that stage!)

The last time I traveled through Nashville, just over a month ago, I planted myself on a stool at Tootsie's in the Nashville airport and enjoyed the music of a couple of fellas paying their dues. I can't remember really what they sang. But one fella was well worth looking at! (I took a few pictures of him, but they didn't turn out good enough to post--especially after my red-eye reduction effort was a disaster.)

And, the picture at the top actually is a photo of a photo, of Tootsie, the name behind the institution.