Just asking...

Has anyone ever seen Ted Koppel and Donald Trump at the same place, at the same time?

It was the hair that made me ask.

How Nashville gay bars are different from NYC gay bars

1. In spite of “don’t drink and drive” campaigns, Nashville bars have parking lots.
2. In most of those parking lots are pick-up trucks.
3. At karaoke, many of the songs are country.
4. Drag queens have really big hair. No, I mean REALLY big hair.
5. Everyone smokes. Or so it seems.
6. Beers are $2. During Happy Hour, $1. Milwaukee’s Best, 50 cents.
7. Boy George has not been thrown out of a NYC gay bar.
8. You can hear Gospel music in Nashville bars.
9. Patrons don’t have to “dress up” to get into the leather bar.
10. “Bears” live happily alongside other gay cliques.
11. There are no Asians or Latinos.
12. Famous Author Rob Byrnes has never been spotted.
13. New Jersey is nowhere near Nashville.
14. After a long night of bar hopping, a Waffle House is always nearby.
15. In some bars, stuffed deer heads hang from the walls.

No Good Excuse for Getting Out of Jury Duty

I'm due to report for jury duty next week. I have heard the joke many times that nobody wants to put their fate in the hands of 12 people who are not smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Back home in Kentucky, I was once called for jury duty. When I reported, I was put into a jury pool for what most people around there called "petty" jury. It was actually "petit" jury. Regrettably, what I am about to say just reinforces some stereotypes of the South in general:

LAWYER: Do you know Mr. X?
ME: Yes, he's my third cousin.
LAWYER: (sigh) Do you know Mr. Y?
ME: Yes, he's my uncle
JUDGE: Excused!

The problem is that here in New York, I have no family. I don't have another good excuse, either. And I have great confidence that none of my friends or acquaintances will be appearing in any trials. So it looks like I'll be downtown next week, ready to do my civic duty. I hope that it is a good week for plea bargains or pretrial settlements. If not, I want to be on a jury in a case where Chris Meloni from "Law and Order" has to testify. He's not really my type but he is the best looking character from that series or any of its offshoots.

The good news is that I won't have to worry about serving for another few years. Right?

He’s Come Undone

After getting my very first text message ever from Jess a few years back, and learning my phone did not know what to do with it, I upgraded my phone. Then I became a text message addict. Sometimes I would wake up at 3am or 4am for a glass of water or a bathroom break and casually glance at my cell phone to see if that red light was blinking, indicating a new text message. I was hooked.

After taking a new job last year, my employer assigned to me a device called a Blackberry. Sure, I had heard about them. I had seen people punching buttons on the subway and suspected it was one of these newfangled Blackberry gadgets. I was correct. To me, a new gadget to play with and figure out was exciting for a while. That excitement gradually diminished to indifference and then finally to dread. I needed a Blackberry Break. Especially since many of the people with whom I work can be anywhere around the globe. Emails can arrive all hours of the night. And they do arrive at all hours. When I wake up for the day, I pick up the Blackberry and open one email, and only one email: the one from weather.com that tells me the day’s weather forecast. That helps me decide what shoes to wear. (Did that sound COMPLETELY gay?)

What I am learning now, though, is that I can survive quite well without either my personal cell phone or my employer’s Blackberry. (I never really liked talking on the phone, anyway.) For example, if I have plans for after work, such as happy hour or dinner or whatever, I just go at the predetermined time. If the person/people I am planning to meet is/are not there, no problem! If I had planned to enjoy happy hour or dinner, I still want either a drink or some food. I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I can figure out that if someone doesn’t show, that means something must have come up. We can just talk the next day and reschedule! People who might have an emergency and need to reach me have my home phone number. I’m guessing that around 75% of the time during the week now, I leave my devices safely tucked away in a backpack or something similar so that I don’t see them. And come the weekend, I have been leaving my devices at home—completely! It is so liberating!

Now that I know I really and truly don’t need to always be “connected,” I have experimented with being out of touch for up to 36 hours straight in the past few weeks. It’s becoming easier and easier to consciously leave the gadgets behind and live like it was 1999.

I don’t mean for this to be some great act of rebellion but rather a reconnection to a simpler time. A time before Blackberries, cell phones, and the like. A time when dinners were not interrupted by the ringing of a phone at someone else’s table.

My Blackberry Breaks have been pretty successful so far. I am finding myself more and more comfortable being out of touch. After all, I am not in a business where people’s lives hang in the balance if I am not immediately reachable. Personally, I suppose it makes it easier since I am a rather predictable creature, anyway. If I am planning to go to happy hour, there is a 99% chance I can be found at one of two watering holes on 58th Street. Dinner during the week is usually either at Wendy’s or at home. On the weekends, I become REALLY boring, so no one wants to get in touch with me, anyway. That’s pretty much my simple life as long as I am not traveling.

The downside is that I fear my behavior might become like that of a reformed smoker: proselytizing and complaining and just generally being bitchy to those who treat their wireless devices as though they were an umbilical cord (ironically) without which they would shrivel up and die from malnutrition. I fear this because I have already felt it. But so far, I have managed to hold my tongue. After all, what is good for me may not be good for everyone else. Or anyone else for that matter.

Happy Birthday!

Outwardly, I would always try to show shock and indignation, in solidarity with you, when you would relate which people had not remembered to call you or send a card on your birthday.

Inside, I was laughing out loud. :)

Happy Birthday, SPC. Many people miss you but we all know that your earthly burdens are over and you can enjoy the rest in Heaven that you so truly deserve.

Special Guest Newt Gingrinch on "Focus on the Family"

Thank goodness the far right wing of the Republican party has someone to take a stand on preserving family values! Who better than Newt Gingrich? After all, with 3 wives, he has plenty of family with whom to share his values.

Oh, yeah, if you read the article, you also will learn just how serious the far right will be in preserving the sanctity of marriage.

Random Thoughts on Politics and Economics

1. Anne Coulter: is this compassionate conservatism? What does the religious right think of this kind of language? She just proved she is an idiot. But did we really need confirmation?

2. When companies move jobs out of the US, we should require them to continue paying social security taxes on the exported jobs.

3. Social security taxes now stop when an individual’s wages reach a certain threshold (I think it’s around $80,000 or so now). Remove that threshold.

4. Barack Obama lacks experience, many tell us. Regardless of this, could he ever, possibly, even remotely fail as our leader to the extent that George W. Bush has? US voters would do no better (and probably even do worse) if the names of all Senators were placed on a wall and the next President chosen by throwing a dart at the list.

5. Grant legal residence to undocumented aliens who can show that they have been here for more than 12 months or 3 years or whatever time is appropriate, without getting in trouble. Why should the undocumented be exempt from income taxes?

6. Make Puerto Rico a state. After all, they vote for President. Make DC a state. After all, they vote for President. This is the simplest and best way to also resolve that pesky “shadow representative” issue that Speaker Pelosi reignited after ascending to the throne.

7. Make New York City a state. Both New York State and New York City would be happier.

8. Send a fan letter to Governor Spitzer.

9. Recall Sheldon Silver and Joe Bruno for malfeasance.

10. Make Famous Author Rob Byrnes the next New York City Mayor. No, wait. Never mind. He moved to Jersey.

(Can anyone tell who just filed his income taxes?)

Cold 'nuff fer ya?

As we were known to say in the south, "it's cold enough to hang meat!"

Winds are upwards of 40 miles per hour today. I remember once in Kentucky when the wind was blowing so hard, that one day it stopped, and all the cows fell over.

It's 13 degrees right now in Central Park (who is there to take the temperature?!?!) It feels like -2 degrees.

In the greater Middle Tennessee area, it's 40 degrees. I think I need to go home for a vacation!

Crisis of Faith

For the past several months, I have wallowed in some self-pity, some self-doubt and lots of confusion. I have felt paranoia, anxiety and depression. I have so many things for which I am thankful, but a couple of things that simply feel wrong. I have abandoned friends and felt abandoned by friends as well. My job is treating me well but it’s not what I want to do. It’s not what I came to New York to do and it’s not fulfilling. Scratch that—the job is not treating me well. Getting out of bed and going to work literally brings tears to my eyes more often than not. My advice to myself would be to stop complaining and get a new job. I am working on that. In fact, unless you are the Good Nurse, this is the first you have heard my complaints. So far in the past 12 months, I have withdrawn from 5 potential jobs or job offers and been turned down for 3 jobs. Some of the opportunities I have turned down would have required a move. That is just not feasible at this time, both for emotional reasons and pragmatic reasons. I keep second-guessing myself about the decisions I have made. Did my emotions cloud my judgment? Can the pragmatic be overcome?

Last year, I also began doing what I grew up doing—praying. For months I prayed more than I ever have in my life. I kept thanking the Lord for my health, for my loved ones (my greatest blessing) and that I am not homeless or hungry. I also kept asking the Lord for guidance and direction and just one opportunity for a more fulfilling job here in New York City. I promised God in prayer that I would work on being a better person. It seemed that my prayers were useless. Though I have long believed in my heart, after careful reading of the Bible, that homosexuality is not a sin, I examined that question again and wondered if my beliefs are wrong about that. Would that cause God to ignore my prayers? Would trying to be straight change things? (That examination resulted in the conclusion, again, that homosexuality is not a sin.) I even promised that I would stop buying lottery tickets (gambling is a sin, you know). Then I had a Crisis of Faith. I decided to cast caution to the wind. I bought a lottery ticket on a recent Sunday. It was the first time I had bought a lottery ticket in months. I bought another the Saturday following. And another the day after. I felt abandoned by my Lord. I suppose my behavior toward God since the crisis began led me to lash out like a child might do to get his parents’ attention. Yes, I was pouting.

But as the Bible teaches us to do, I am now making my public confession. My transgressions far outnumber buying lottery tickets, though. That is just an example. I have sinned against God and trespassed against others. God has forgiven me because I have asked and His promise is that He forgives. Now I must hope that those here on earth whom I have trespassed against also forgive me.

My mother and many in my family have told me that whatever it is I am seeking, God would provide—in His time. Many in my family have also told me that they continue to pray for me. Why is prayer failing this time? Not counting my prayers, why is God also ignoring all these other people who lead lives that are far more righteous than mine? Why am I missing the simplest of things my heart desires while seeing those same blessings given to others in overwhelming amounts, even those who don't ask? It makes me a little jealous, I confess—which is another sin, of course. I am not greedy, though. I don’t ask to be a millionaire. I just want to pay my bills, enjoy going to work, and share joyous times with loved ones.

I have since returned to prayer, praying even more than I did before my Crisis of Faith. I have only articulated my thoughts about my Crisis of Faith to one other soul on earth.

This morning, while hitting the snooze button one more time, I felt the need to put down in words (as best I can) my feelings of late. Maybe faith can only grow from doubt. Otherwise it is merely empty knowledge. Maybe I have become too arrogant. Maybe God wants to see me completely humbled before lifting me up again. If so, I am now at the humblest point in my life. God, it’s me—can you hear me?

Good Friends, Good Times & a Good Cause

As the Good Nurse and I began our trek to Long Island on Saturday, we knew we were in for a fun time with Jess and Marc even though we were unsure of what exactly was in store for us. We knew we were going to a benefit a good cause, but details were a bit cloudy for us.

Turns out that we had an evening full of fun to benefit LIGALY. (Pop by the blogs of both Jess and Marc and you can see some photos.) Jess and Marc are wonderful hosts, as are their children: three gorgeous puppy dogs who showered the Good Nurse with more affection than I can even imagine!

We are very grateful for the hospitality shown to us by our friends way out in the country. Especially Marc's wonderful quickie--I mean quiche-on Sunday morning! Thanks, fellas.

Severe Weather Alert

As I normally do when I arrive at the office, I turned on the lights, fired up the computer and started retrieving voicemail messages. Once all of that is completed, I usually turn to a country music radio station in Nashville through the magic of the internets.

Today the radio announcers began warning everyone that they should prepare for terrible, terrible storms that are moving east, and scheduled to arrive in the greater middle Tennessee area around 3pm.

Then the strangest thing began to happen. Schools began announcing that they are closing early so the students can get home before the severe weather strikes.

This is not an attempt to be flippant or funny or ugly. But I spoke with a friend in Nashville who wondered aloud whether sending kids home from school is the wisest thing to do. After all, many of these kids will be leaving a strong, reinforced brick or concrete building just to go home to a trailer. And, seriously, trailers are quite common in middle Tennessee and are often starter homes for new families. Those families likely to have kids in school. (One of the largest manufactured home companies has factories in Sumner County, TN, just one county north of Nashville Metro.)

And while many people believe that trailers are "tornado magnets," the truth is that they are just more susceptible to "tornadic" winds that may pass only nearby, and not receive the direct hit of a tornado.

If I were a parent who lived in a trailer, I think I would tell my kid to hide in the gymnasium until everyone was gone. It would have to be safer.